Why You Should Date Me

Disclaimer: This entry does not mean that I want to get with anybody. Just want to be clear on that. I wrote this entry because, it keeps me from losing my sanity here at work. The place where pretending to work equals being productive. This is also supposed to be comical but my sense of humor is as bad as US economy. I am also not a writer; nor do I have the talent to write. In fact, writing is probably my worst. English isn't my first language. Actually, I don't remember what I learned first, whatever.

"Ze moon! Ze June! Ze spoon! C'est l'amour!! C'est toujours!"  - Pepe Le Pew

Dating, it can either be the happiest time of your life or it could also be your worst. In my case, I've had a share of both. Back in my younger days, I had dated around and ended up in relationships that had lasted over a year, a few years at most. Throughout those years, I have gained experience and skills to keep a relationship last longer than most drunken stripper hookups in Vegas. 

Anyways, women always find reasons why they should consider dating this poor schmuck. He’s rich; he’s nice; he’s funny; he’s a jerk. Whatever it is, there’s always a reason.  So yeah, I'm getting off topic and you're probably not going to read all that crap above. I mean, I wouldn't. So I should probably just list my self made reasons on why a girl should date me.

• Once a month; for 4 days to a week; I get super nice and accommodating. During this time, I will take a very substantial amount of unwarranted shit and mistreatment from the people I like and care about the most. I will do all of this with a :) on my face. Also, during this period (seewhatididthere.jpg) of time, I will for some inexplicable reason always have an electronic heating pad on my person
• I absolutely HATE arguing. Arguments usually lead to me wanting to take a shit with all the back and forth yelling. So if and when we do get to an argument, I'll probably concede your point, hug, and walk away. Then most likely ask for make up sex. Make up sex is like the best sex next to normal sex. Actually, sex is great. SEX.
• I'm your average Joe. Oh, that doesn’t sound appealing? Well think about it, dating an average Joe means you don’t have to worry about other women trying to rape your drunken hubby. Yes, guys can get raped too!
• I was told I'm an obedient drunk to women, except when I blackout. I mean, how could I be obedient if I’m unconscious.  

• I'm a peace kind of guy. Women dig peacekeepers right?
• I grow patches of hair... Yes everywhere.... So you probably won't have a problem with me looking like the sasquatch.  
• I'm great with moms.
• I’m not clingy. So you don’t have to worry about me sticking to you like a leech.
• You like Justin Bieber? Okay! I'll pretend to like that kid. *sigh*
• You like Twilight? Okay! I don’t judge.
• I can cook. YES DAMN IT I CAN. Only for you though. I hate you doubters.
• I don’t speak to any of my ex’s anymore. You won’t ever have to deal with my crazy ex's. Yes they are crazy beyond crazy. They're the “poke a hole in my condom” crazy type. Trust, you don’t want to deal with that crap.
• I look my best in the morning. Chances are, you probably look your worst in the morning. It's okay though, if I look good in the morning, then in reality you don't look as bad as you think. Does that make any sense? Probably not.
• I'm horrible at ironing clothes. So when you have a bad day, or you feel inadequate, call me up and I'll iron clothes with you. This may make you feel better. You'll probably outclass me and feel superior that you are better at ironing. The more you feel superior, the less inadequate you'll feel. Right?
• I'm very good at "Googling" things. You hate this person and you want to screw with their life but don't know where he/she lives? Just give me a name and a few info I can find it for you!
• /context/ I’m easy to feed; you can put anything in my mouth. /end context/

Most of these are true and some are made up, maybe... maybe it's all true, who knows. The only way to find out is to date me. right? :)

Physician Assistants

So an old friend of mine E-Mailed me today asking how I was. I said I was cool, working a 9-6 job at an LA County department. You know nothing fancy due to circumstances that I'll just leave out. So this friend of mine is a Physicians Assistant. 

So what is a Physicians Assistant (PA)? Well they are non-physicians clinicians who are licensed to practice medicine under the supervision of a physician. Ideally, they are used in the role of "extenders" and might, for example, round of a surgeons patients in the hospital leaving him free to spend more time doing cases. 

Cutting to my story, I have told this friend about my plans on being a physician. He was glad to hear that I'm finally not "rolling along"  with what life gives me. We talk more about where I want to be at and BAM he tells me that I should just be a PA instead of going through hell called medical school. 

At this point, I'm scratching my head and thinking:

"Okay, that's cool. But why would I just want to be an assistant to somebody when I can be more than just that? Why would I gimp myself when I know I can handle it."

Obviously, he knows more than I do and what I was thinking is very ignorant.. 

So he goes on about being a PA. He told me that a PA working in a lucrative specialty can, in fact make more money than physicians working in primary care. It's not only that, it's only another 2 and half years of extra schooling considering they throw you into practical clinical skills at the start of your first year. Comparing this to medical school where the first 2 years is basically a lot of book burning, taking notes and all that boring crap you went through in pre-school to the last year of your college life. 

Then he continues to tell me that after those 2 years and half of PA training, you'll be able to work at a hospital and practice medicine. 

If you know me well enough, I would try and argue that being a PA is really not for me and I would really would like to go with my original plan. I did, and you know what he told me?

"You are making the biggest mistake of your life. You should listen to me, I got my shit together way earlier than you did. You're old now, hell you're older than me by 1 year. If you go through with your plan, at what age will you be finished? 

40? 45? Considering where you are now, 2-4 years of undergraduate degree. Another 4 years in medical school, not to mention another 3-10 years of internship and residency training. You're turning 28 this year. What about having a family? What about the money you'll be spending? You know think about it, if you become a PA that's just another 4-6 and half years and you can be making 6 figures like me. 4-6 years from now, where are you going to be? You'll be in debt, a 6 figure debt because I know for a fact you don't have that kind of money anymore."

Okay, I'll be honest, I never really answered that E-Mail. To be honest, he has a point but that bitch made it sound like it was a bad idea. I've heard from my nurse friends that these PA's are cocky as hell but aren't really much. They're pretty much the Attending's bitch. They're given the easy cases of viral gastroenteritis (the runs), upper respiratory infections (the coughs), physicals etc. while the Attendings go and try to cure the more complicated diseases. Now you tell me, do you want to be the bitch? I know for a fact I don't. I'm tired of working under somebody. I mean no offense to all the other PA's but it's really not my thing. I only call you guys the Attendings bitch is because how MY FRIEND is telling me that my plan isn't the right plan FOR MYSELF. 

I mean I wont lie, I am going into this profession because of the money earned. I mean those who say that "it's not about the money" pretty much tripped and fell in a puddle of bullshit. Although I can also honestly say that this is my calling. I like to help people, I get a great satisfaction helping people because that's just how I am. I shoulder my own burden and I shoulder everybody else's. I'm an analytical person who happens to also pay a great attention to detail. I notice anything and everything. I know that I can, in fact be greater than what people see me and gimping myself to become a PA is just a NO. 

Oh by the way, I believe that if it doesn't feel like work then I have not done anything. Meaning I rather go through a rigorous 10-15 years of training than 2 and half years of crammed classes. 

Ramblings From Every Direction

I never liked lemons, I think they're too sour to be in anything besides fish. That's one of the reason why I hate that saying "When life gives you lemons, you put sugar". Oh okay, that's really not how the saying goes but you guys know what I am talking about.

Sour, that's how I describe how everything that's been happening in my life. Every aspect of it is just so damn sour that it's breaking me down slowly. I find myself reverting to my 2007-2008 self. If you guys know me personally, that is definitely not a good thing.

I've been in and out of debt, rejected and dumped, hell even one of my old friends who I accidentally bumped into told me I've lost nearly all my swag. My emotional state was never fragile like this. I used to be that jack ass who, despite being a jack ass, was loved and followed by people. I had authority, people listened to what I had to say.

Where did it go? Why is it gone? What happened to it?

A friend of mine once said that I kept them at arm's length. I never realized it but apparently I did. Was it working for me? Well it was, but unfortunately, I had the need to fix something that was never broken. I opened up to her. All my lies, my biggest insecurities, my deep dark secrets.

What did I get for it? absolutely nothing. It did not make me feel any better, it made me conscious about myself. My insecurities came out and apparently it's slowly killing me. I mean there is a reason why i kept it hidden and never to be seen again. All I can think of now is that damn insecurity and how do I get rid of it.

I kinda wish I never opened up, I knew that opening up wasn't really my thing. It was very out of character.

I've only been in one committed serious relationship. It started June 03' lasted through August 05'. A year and a half of a roller coaster ride. Why didn't it last longer? Well there were complications. Possible cheating, lot's of lying.

Here's how the possible cheating went. There was this guy from another state who visited and apparently she liked him. She never told me about it and I found through a common friend that she went to this guy's hotel twice. She said, they didn't do anything. Okay yeah sure.

Well after that incident, we dated for another 6 months. Don't get me wrong, I never forgave her but I kept my eyes closed. At that time, I wasn't sure why I kept my eyes closed. 6 months later, I figured out why... It was because I loved her and I was willing to make it work. So I spoke to her about it, I never really said I loved her but instead, I told her all the white lies I've told her. Petty little lies that doesn't really do any harm. A  couple months later, she broke up with me. Her reason was "I can't trust you anymore"... Irony is a bitch

March 2009, I met this girl. I thought we kicked it off pretty well. We had chemistry, we had something....

Sounds pretty good right? Wrong...

This girl had a 10 year baggage... She said she was over it but at times, she showed signs that she wasn't. I waited it out, I stuck with her, cheering her up whenever she needed it. Hung out with her whenever she was in town. A year later, I ran out of patience, and asked her if we can be more than just friends.... Needless to say, I got rejected. The reason? "I'm not emotionally stable". I guess, during that 1 year course, I couldn't jump over that 10 story high wall.

Then there's the present... This one I haven't really figured out how I really feel about it. Or maybe I do but accepting how I really feel about it might not be the greatest idea. I mean I've tried twice, Giving up might be my only option this time. That and I should just, walk away.

Anyways yeah, that's apparently my first and hopefully the last rambling I'll ever do. That and I need my life to be back in order. There are things I need to do and things like these does not help.

Tiger woods? nope it's all bout abu dahbi

Yes... I know what you people are thinking. I bet you that you're asking yourself who this person is. Is this Sacha Baron Cohen aka Borat? You know I ask myself too. I really don't know who this person is... Really.

Well apparently this dude stole the internet thunder from Tiger Woods blunder during the Ryder Cup. Probably saved Tiger Woods from the netizens wrath, because apparently Tiger didn't even say sorry to the poor photographer.

Well you know Mr. Turban cigar smoking cool watching bystander, I salute you for being so out of place during a golf game.

By the way, is he even allowed to be smoking during a Golf Tournament? Who knows? We may never know. Here I leave you the awesome picture shot of Tiger

To die or not to die? shit thats pretty obvious son

Yeah pretty depressing first post here on TOKHR (The Other Kind of Hermit Rambling). As depressing as it may sound, there must be an explanation as to why people would do such a thing. (maybe?)

Last night while I was watching MNF (Monday Night Football which saints won by the way damnit) a breaking news came up that Denver Broncos WR Kenny Mckinley was dead and investigators say that it was an apparent suicide.

Now this is not the first time I've read the news that an Athlete / Actor / Actress committed suicide. Most news I read are suicides from known actresses / actors in Korea but i'll leave that for another post.

First of all, what is a suicide? Well the direct definition of it is "An act of a human being to intentionally cause his/her own death." but to my personal definition of it is, "Running the fuck away from hardships and reality." Why would a person intentionally think of his/her own death?

I ask a couple of friends about it and one of my friend describes it as a "Desperate cry for help". Lets stop and think for a second, why would that person cry for help in the first place? A bad childhood? Hard tormenting life? A tragic incident that happened in the past? It can be any one of these or others that I didn't mention. Human beings are very fragile, you may be physically strong but mentally, you're as soft as mashed potatoes. You may be the most cheerful person on the earth but deep inside you're the saddest person alive.

I mean its a known fact that people are weak. We are all very weak, it's just the way we are. Some people just tend to be mentally stronger or have people around to guide them. Apparently there are some who don't have neither. You may be the most perfect person out there who is admired and aspired by everybody but unfortunately nobody really understands how you feel. Thats when a person starts to think "hey, I wonder if somebody will finally understand what I'm really going through once I'm dead"..

You know what I would say? "God damn son, you need to pause". "Would you really wanna die being known as the idiot who wasted his life because nobody understands you?"

These people who commit suicide needs to start thinking, "if I die, how will I go down in history?". Yes, you need to see the big picture in dying. See if you're alive, you have other chances on meeting somebody that really understands you. If you're alive who knows what you can do in the future. You never know you may accidentally find a cure to aids or invent the first time machine.

All I'm trying to say is, FUCKING LOVE YOURSELF FIRST before thinking of dying. There are other people in the world who is suffering from something more serious than what you're going through now. Think about the people who was born with a deformed face with only 1 eye who is blind, or people who fought in wars and lost an arm, a leg and their hearing. Think about those children who was born with an incurable disease. Dying because you think the whole world is against you is just being really selfish. Life is precious bitch, and you only have one so don't waste it.


Yeah I know this post was pretty half-assed lol.