Why You Should Date Me

Disclaimer: This entry does not mean that I want to get with anybody. Just want to be clear on that. I wrote this entry because, it keeps me from losing my sanity here at work. The place where pretending to work equals being productive. This is also supposed to be comical but my sense of humor is as bad as US economy. I am also not a writer; nor do I have the talent to write. In fact, writing is probably my worst. English isn't my first language. Actually, I don't remember what I learned first, whatever.

"Ze moon! Ze June! Ze spoon! C'est l'amour!! C'est toujours!"  - Pepe Le Pew

Dating, it can either be the happiest time of your life or it could also be your worst. In my case, I've had a share of both. Back in my younger days, I had dated around and ended up in relationships that had lasted over a year, a few years at most. Throughout those years, I have gained experience and skills to keep a relationship last longer than most drunken stripper hookups in Vegas. 

Anyways, women always find reasons why they should consider dating this poor schmuck. He’s rich; he’s nice; he’s funny; he’s a jerk. Whatever it is, there’s always a reason.  So yeah, I'm getting off topic and you're probably not going to read all that crap above. I mean, I wouldn't. So I should probably just list my self made reasons on why a girl should date me.

• Once a month; for 4 days to a week; I get super nice and accommodating. During this time, I will take a very substantial amount of unwarranted shit and mistreatment from the people I like and care about the most. I will do all of this with a :) on my face. Also, during this period (seewhatididthere.jpg) of time, I will for some inexplicable reason always have an electronic heating pad on my person
• I absolutely HATE arguing. Arguments usually lead to me wanting to take a shit with all the back and forth yelling. So if and when we do get to an argument, I'll probably concede your point, hug, and walk away. Then most likely ask for make up sex. Make up sex is like the best sex next to normal sex. Actually, sex is great. SEX.
• I'm your average Joe. Oh, that doesn’t sound appealing? Well think about it, dating an average Joe means you don’t have to worry about other women trying to rape your drunken hubby. Yes, guys can get raped too!
• I was told I'm an obedient drunk to women, except when I blackout. I mean, how could I be obedient if I’m unconscious.  

• I'm a peace kind of guy. Women dig peacekeepers right?
• I grow patches of hair... Yes everywhere.... So you probably won't have a problem with me looking like the sasquatch.  
• I'm great with moms.
• I’m not clingy. So you don’t have to worry about me sticking to you like a leech.
• You like Justin Bieber? Okay! I'll pretend to like that kid. *sigh*
• You like Twilight? Okay! I don’t judge.
• I can cook. YES DAMN IT I CAN. Only for you though. I hate you doubters.
• I don’t speak to any of my ex’s anymore. You won’t ever have to deal with my crazy ex's. Yes they are crazy beyond crazy. They're the “poke a hole in my condom” crazy type. Trust, you don’t want to deal with that crap.
• I look my best in the morning. Chances are, you probably look your worst in the morning. It's okay though, if I look good in the morning, then in reality you don't look as bad as you think. Does that make any sense? Probably not.
• I'm horrible at ironing clothes. So when you have a bad day, or you feel inadequate, call me up and I'll iron clothes with you. This may make you feel better. You'll probably outclass me and feel superior that you are better at ironing. The more you feel superior, the less inadequate you'll feel. Right?
• I'm very good at "Googling" things. You hate this person and you want to screw with their life but don't know where he/she lives? Just give me a name and a few info I can find it for you!
• /context/ I’m easy to feed; you can put anything in my mouth. /end context/

Most of these are true and some are made up, maybe... maybe it's all true, who knows. The only way to find out is to date me. right? :)

Physician Assistants

So an old friend of mine E-Mailed me today asking how I was. I said I was cool, working a 9-6 job at an LA County department. You know nothing fancy due to circumstances that I'll just leave out. So this friend of mine is a Physicians Assistant. 

So what is a Physicians Assistant (PA)? Well they are non-physicians clinicians who are licensed to practice medicine under the supervision of a physician. Ideally, they are used in the role of "extenders" and might, for example, round of a surgeons patients in the hospital leaving him free to spend more time doing cases. 

Cutting to my story, I have told this friend about my plans on being a physician. He was glad to hear that I'm finally not "rolling along"  with what life gives me. We talk more about where I want to be at and BAM he tells me that I should just be a PA instead of going through hell called medical school. 

At this point, I'm scratching my head and thinking:

"Okay, that's cool. But why would I just want to be an assistant to somebody when I can be more than just that? Why would I gimp myself when I know I can handle it."

Obviously, he knows more than I do and what I was thinking is very ignorant.. 

So he goes on about being a PA. He told me that a PA working in a lucrative specialty can, in fact make more money than physicians working in primary care. It's not only that, it's only another 2 and half years of extra schooling considering they throw you into practical clinical skills at the start of your first year. Comparing this to medical school where the first 2 years is basically a lot of book burning, taking notes and all that boring crap you went through in pre-school to the last year of your college life. 

Then he continues to tell me that after those 2 years and half of PA training, you'll be able to work at a hospital and practice medicine. 

If you know me well enough, I would try and argue that being a PA is really not for me and I would really would like to go with my original plan. I did, and you know what he told me?

"You are making the biggest mistake of your life. You should listen to me, I got my shit together way earlier than you did. You're old now, hell you're older than me by 1 year. If you go through with your plan, at what age will you be finished? 

40? 45? Considering where you are now, 2-4 years of undergraduate degree. Another 4 years in medical school, not to mention another 3-10 years of internship and residency training. You're turning 28 this year. What about having a family? What about the money you'll be spending? You know think about it, if you become a PA that's just another 4-6 and half years and you can be making 6 figures like me. 4-6 years from now, where are you going to be? You'll be in debt, a 6 figure debt because I know for a fact you don't have that kind of money anymore."

Okay, I'll be honest, I never really answered that E-Mail. To be honest, he has a point but that bitch made it sound like it was a bad idea. I've heard from my nurse friends that these PA's are cocky as hell but aren't really much. They're pretty much the Attending's bitch. They're given the easy cases of viral gastroenteritis (the runs), upper respiratory infections (the coughs), physicals etc. while the Attendings go and try to cure the more complicated diseases. Now you tell me, do you want to be the bitch? I know for a fact I don't. I'm tired of working under somebody. I mean no offense to all the other PA's but it's really not my thing. I only call you guys the Attendings bitch is because how MY FRIEND is telling me that my plan isn't the right plan FOR MYSELF. 

I mean I wont lie, I am going into this profession because of the money earned. I mean those who say that "it's not about the money" pretty much tripped and fell in a puddle of bullshit. Although I can also honestly say that this is my calling. I like to help people, I get a great satisfaction helping people because that's just how I am. I shoulder my own burden and I shoulder everybody else's. I'm an analytical person who happens to also pay a great attention to detail. I notice anything and everything. I know that I can, in fact be greater than what people see me and gimping myself to become a PA is just a NO. 

Oh by the way, I believe that if it doesn't feel like work then I have not done anything. Meaning I rather go through a rigorous 10-15 years of training than 2 and half years of crammed classes.